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By Dr. Berthold Berg
a wonderful resource for your child

ADHD

(Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder)

This page is very close to my heart because it involves my only son.  He has struggled with ADHD, but is winning the battle.  He is a very intelligent child (which is not unusual with ADD/ADHD), but it takes more than intelligence to get through life, it takes common sense. 

Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, what exactly is it?  Well for that I will send you to read "The A.D.D. Book" by William Sears M.D., and Lynda Thompson, Ph.D..  It is the first book I have found that explains things in a way that real people can understand.  I will also caution you against, "Your Hyperactive Child" by Barbara Ingersoll, Ph.D..  There are many books out there, but I found this one very erroneous and misleading.  I left the book feeling that my son would end up a useless criminal.  Let alone some of the advice was totally unusable by most ADD kids I know. ( Telling an ADHD child to weed the garden as punishment will only end up with a garden 'weeded' of all the flowers!)

I am going to use this site to help the parent with the ADHD child understand themselves more so than the child.  You have the doctors, teachers, and books to help with understanding ADD and ADHD and what the differences are.  The place where help is lacking is with the parents of these children.

I have tried four times to write more on this page.  I am finding it very difficult because there is so much involved.  I do think that the parents of children with ADD/ADHD need to be counseled just as much as the children.  Parents cannot leave everything up to the professionals to 'fix' their child.  Chances are it will not happen. 

My personal experience with ADD/ADHD is two fold.  A caring observant teacher noticed the behavior pattern in my son.  We had him tested through the school district and our pediatrician.  They put him on Ritalin and into the Resource Room part-time.  By the time he left 6th grade he was fully intergraded into the regular classroom.  

Our Junior High was fortunate enough to have transitional classes in English, Social Studies, and Math.  These classes are taught by the same teacher and children can take two of them in 7th grade.  The classroom is small, 13 children.  The ability to have the same teacher for two classes gives the child the familiarity of seeing them twice a day.  Because of the size of the class, the teacher knows them well and they the teacher.  When my son moved on to 8th grade he was able to deal with all the teachers much better.  He also knew that if things became a problem the teacher from last year was still there for him, and would help him.  

Just as many parents today , I have my beliefs in how children should be taught.  A standard is set that doesn't fit every child.   Children are so different in personality and in how they learn.  One child will thrive on learning in a classroom setting and benefit from structured homework.  Another needs solitude and freedom to stretch their own mind.  This is probably why Home Schooling is so widely done.  If you are lucky enough to live in a place that has more educational benefits to tap into, do.  "If I only knew then what I know now", is a statement that fits my children's education more than any other part of child rearing.

Why?

ADD/ADHD is often blamed on one (or both) of the parents.  Often when you look at the parents it is not hard to figure out where it came from.  It is also thought to be part of the American heritage.  Now . . . let me explain.  One of my sons doctors gave me a wonderful explanation of why ADHD is so prevalent in the U.S..   When you look at an average ADHD child you see someone who does things in their own way.  They have a lot of energy, and when directed in the right way, it can be harnessed.  In the beginning of this country people were not expected to sit in an office or classroom all day, reading, studying, confined to computer desks.  They were out in the fields, building towns; building America.  They had a sense of adventure and went for it.  Today that is called - doing something without thinking.  Personally I think America might very well have been founded by many people with ADHD.

I also feel that the child with ADHD seems more prevalent now because they are being forced to fit into a mold.  A mold that doesn't suit them at all.  Imagine if you lived in Alaska and hated cold weather.  You, as an adult, would try to find a way to get to Florida.  As a child they are locked into having to follow the standards set by the adults.  So why don't we do something about it? 

Many have found a way.  Home-schooling is one of the best things for these children.  No one knows a child better than a parent (or should).  But the parents of these children find themselves exhausted.

  I see my son coming home from school with piles of homework.  He has to completely refocus. . . But let me explain this a little differently.

A 13-year-old child goes to school all day.  He has seven classes, seven teachers, 50 minutes each class.  He arrives home from school, has snack, and proceeds to do homework for at least three of the classes.

Now, if you have a child with ADD/ADHD you will undoubtedly see the big problem with this schedule.  When at school they are put into a position that they find very hard to handle.  It is as if you were shown how to knit, you just start to get the hang of it, and then were sent to be taught how to work on a car.  The oil is just starting to drain, and you are learning how to bake a cake, but before it comes out of the oven, you are knitting again.  It brings to mind the old commercial, "Calgon, take me away!"  Is it no wonder the child is so confused?  To be made to re-focus every hour on something different, and then come home and do homework on something that never came fully into focus in the first place.  But, what to do?

Over the summers I do a form of home-schooling with my children.  The main reason is to give them all something to do.  For my girls, they work on earning Girl Scout Badges.  But for my son, he writes research papers.  I give him a subject, he researches it, and writes a paper.  The point is that I give him one thing at a time.  He then puts his all into it and really learns.  The biggest problem with these children is the inability to focus.  But inability is not really the word.  These children can focus, just try to pull them away from a television set!  The problem is the intensity of that focus.  Given one thing to do, and they will do it exceptionally well.  The papers my son writes are phenomenal!  But, he picks the subject from my topics, is given a week to complete each one, and he learns.

We were very fortunate with my son.  In 6th grade he had the most wonderful teacher.  She took the time with him that he needed.  She made sure that he understood what was going on.  She paid attention to his expression, and knew when he needed that little extra help.  He had been in the resource room since 3rd grade.  I really feel that it was her help that enabled him to transition fully into the normal classroom before moving on to Junior High.   But more importantly she stayed in touch with me.  Together we were able to stay on top of my sons life and help direct him before something became a problem.  

You have to stay in touch with your child all the time.  I try to always be there when the children get home from school.  My son usually gets home before his sisters, so this is our 'connecting' time.  I touch base with him and feel out how his day went.  By trying to do this all the time, we know when there is a difference.  I know when something isn't right and we can talk about it then and there before it becomes a problem.  But also he can see how I am, we can share that there are good days and bad.  He learns that even on a bad day we can work it out and get through it.  But most importantly he knows that he can come to me to talk, and I am there for him.

As my son has gotten older, I don't need to be so involved.  By putting in the extra effort when he was younger, he now has a better understanding of how he needs to handle himself and situations.  That doesn't mean he always makes the right choices, but it does mean that when he makes a wrong choice we have a way to discuss it and he can learn for himself.  Now in high school he is an "A" student.  He still has rough times, but the combination of diet modification, medication, counseling, and a loving family, has given him the opportunity to be a success.  He's also a pretty neat guy.     (last updated Aug 2004)

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